How and Why to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

by | Jun 30, 2016

Ah, comparison. It’s a nasty trap that all of us have fallen into at one point another. I’ve certainly been there. I’ve also overcome many of the comparisons I struggle with, and I promise you I’m happier for it. But, like most others, there are plenty of comparisons I still struggle with. I don’t think it’s something we’ll ever be able to completely overcome (at least I won’t) but we can improve it. Here are a few tips to stop comparing yourself to others, and why you should!


How and Why to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others





Why Stop Comparing Yourself to Others


Comparison is Damaging to Our Self-Esteem


This really isn’t something I need to tell you. You already know this. You recognize the feeling of doubt and low self-esteem that creeps up as soon as you start to compare your life to someone else’s. At the very least, this should be motivation enough for us to halt comparison altogether!


Comparison Puts Our Focus on the Wrong Person


One of the biggest issues with comparing yourself to others is that you’re spending your time and energy focusing on someone else’s success! By focusing on their success instead of your own, you’re widening the gap and preventing yourself from catching up.


Comparison is Unrealistic


There’s no accurate metric for comparing someone else’s life to your own. I regularly find myself comparing myself to other bloggers and what they’ve accomplished. But you know what? Most of those bloggers have been blogging longer than me! So it’s really an unrealistic comparison.


Comparing is a Waste of Time


You guys, comparison is such a waste of time! Comparing yourself to someone does literally nothing to further your own situation. For every hour you spend feeling sorry for yourself because your blog isn’t as good as someone else’s, that is an hour you could have spent working on your blog to make it better! Seriously, think about it. Consider what you could have done with all the time you’ve wasted comparing yourself to others.


How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others


Acknowledge Your Own Successes


Instead of comparing yourself to others in a negative way, focusing on the things they’ve accomplished that you haven’t, compare yourself in a positive way. What have you accomplished, something you’re incredibly proud of, that not everyone else has done? Maybe you’ve excelled in your career, or maybe you’re an incredible artist in your free time. You have something that other people strive for too!


Remind Yourself That No One is Perfect


When you jealously compare yourself to someone else, someone who’s life you deem to be perfect, you’re failing to acknowledge that they too have struggles. They have problems in their life, and they have areas of their life that they jealously compare to others.


Keep a Gratitude Journal


If you’re having a hard time reminding yourself of the positive elements in your own life, keep a gratitude journal. I promise there are things in your life to be grateful for, and you probably think of them often when you aren’t busy comparing yourself to others. This way, when you’re feeling really down on yourself and can’t think of a single thing to be grateful for, you can return to your gratitude journal for a reminder.


Keep Your Eyes on Your Own Lane


Simply stop paying so much attention to what others are doing. I promise that over-analyzing someone else’s success is going to do nothing to improve yours. Instead of paying attention to what your peers are doing, keep your eyes only in your own lane.


Get Off Social Media


Social media is a breeding ground for comparison. Everyone puts their best foot forward on social media (or at least most do), so we’re only seeing the absolute best of someone’s life and comparing it to the worst of our life. It’s not a realistic way to measure our own success and happiness. Plus it’s a huge time suck, so getting off social media will boost your self-esteem and give you more time to work on improving your own life.


Compare Yourself to Yourself 


For a realistic way of measuring your own success, compare only to yourself instead. Rather than measuring the success of your blog compared to others, measure the success of your blog now compared to the success of your blog six months ago or one year ago. It’s a more honest metric of success and one that will boost your self-esteem rather than damage it.




Make sure to check out these other posts you might like on Refined Revelry!



  1. chelsea @ the new wifestyle

    this is so great erin! it’s so easy to compare, especially in this day and age with social media. i like what you said about comparing yourself to yourself! we are truly only in control of ourselves so let’s focus on that!

  2. Chelsea

    Such an amazing post, Erin! We are for sure all guilty of this. I think for me, the biggest thing is just getting off social media, especially Instagram!

  3. Jasmine Maria

    I tend to compare myself to other people and like you said, it ruins your self esteem. I decided that I’m no longer going to do that because it just brings you down and it’s discouraging.

  4. Tawni Sattler

    LOVE these! I’ve had to remove myself from social media for a few days here and there, and I’ve found it SO beneficial. This is a great list of tips — thank you!

  5. Alanna @ Alanna & Company

    Comparison is truly the worst. I think it’s hard to not compare yourself just a little bit. I’ve definitely been better with trying to focus solely on me and not other people especially regarding my weight, my style, and my career. Those three ar ethe worst for me.

  6. Courtney Patterson

    In the blogging world, I feel this is a HUGE struggle for most. It’s easy to get caught into the trap of thinking someone else’s life is far better than your own. Great ideas.

  7. Lydia Guanga

    Such a struggle in lots of areas! I find definitely getting off social media helps me the most. I take time to be with face-to-face friends and that quality time helps me feel loved and I don’t need to compare myself to anyone else’s life! I also try to make sure when I’m on social media that I remember to be encouraging to people. When you’re focused on being joyful for someone’s happiness or success, it doesn’t make you feel bad about your own.

  8. Casey

    It’s so easy to get caught up in comparing myself with others especially as a blogger, so this was a much needed post! Thanks, dear!

  9. Gina Alyse

    Really enjoyed this post Erin! Lots to think about and such a good reminder for us all!

  10. Christina

    This came at exactly the right time that I needed to read it. Thanks for sharing!

  11. Paula

    So much good stuff here! Especially the points of getting off social media – it’s such as easy trap to fall into. And I love the point of comparing yourself to yourself! When I think about how much blog has grown since this time last year, I feel really great about it. 🙂

  12. Erica

    I wholeheartedly agree with all of the above. It can be easy – TOO easy – to just succumb to the pressures of society and what we see everyone else doing. It gets nauseating and discouraging if and when we just allow ourselves to be depressed over everyone else’s stuff. It’s not what God wants of us, though, and it’s not what we deserve. Nixing the comparisons is SO ESSENTIAL to our own inner peace and happiness! Great post, Erin – scheduling to Hootsuite now! <3

    Coming Up Roses

  13. Christine Everyday

    “Comparison puts our focus on the wrong person.” So much yes. I think this might just be the quote at the start of my new journal.

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